The Mars Habitation Postulation
by TV Tony
Summary: The boys from The Big Bang Theory have a brief encounter, which is actually a close encounter.


The Mars Habitation Postulation

By TV Tony

Dr. Leonard Hofstadter asked, "What are we debating?," as he set his lunch tray down on the cafeteria table .As usual, he was having lunch with his three best friends, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Dr. Raj Koothrappali, and Howard Wolowitz. He was sure from past experience that if was a discussion, it would soon become a debate.

"If this were indeed a debate," Sheldon answered smugly, "it would already be over, and I would have won it. As usual."

"What?," exclaimed Howard. "That's ridiculous! You don't have a scientific leg to stand on."

"He's right, dude," Raj added, "and even if you had that leg, it would now be sinking in scientific quicksand."

"What's this all about?," Leonard asked.

"Well," responded Howard, "Sheldon is trying to convince us that there is life on Mars."

"No, I never stated it as a fact, just as a possibility. A strong possibility," Sheldon said.

"Well, I agree that it's possible," Leonard said.

"You do?," asked Raj, incredulously.

"Maybe in a microbial form," Leonard added, "as bacteria or something of that nature."

"No, no, no," said Howard, "Sheldon's theory goes way beyond that. He's talking about full-fledged intelligent beings."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far," Leonard said.

"See?," Howard and Raj chorused to Sheldon.

Leonard turned to Sheldon and asked, "How could you possibly think that? There has never been a shred of scientific evidence to indicate intelligent life on Mars."

"I'm an astrophysicist," said Raj, "I've seen more photographs of Mars than I have of Earth, and I've never seen the slightest indication of intelligent life."

"And I'm an astronaut," added Howard. As the others looked to him to elaborate, he nodded, repeating, "I'm an astronaut." He pursed his lips as if that was all he needed to say.

Sheldon said, "The very lack of evidence only strengthens my theory. Let me elaborate."

"Can we prevent it?," asked Leonard, hopefully.

Ignoring him, Sheldon continued. "Beings on Mars would have evolved at around the same time, and under very similar circumstances as beings on Earth. As such, they would be very much like humans. However, though the Earth has provided conditions for a thriving population, long ago, some unknown disaster befell Mars. The atmosphere is very thin, the temperatures are extreme, and there is no surface water."

"Right," Howard responded, "so even if there had been intelligent life, it would have been wiped out long ago."

" Not necessarily," said Sheldon. "They would have found a way to survive. They would have gone underground. They would have moved their entire civilization beneath the surface of Mars."

"Why would you assume that?," asked Raj.

"Because that's what we would have done here on Earth, if the same type of disaster had befallen us," said Sheldon, "To quote Chaos Theory mathematician Ian Malcolm, 'Life will find a way'".

"But they wouldn't have left any trace that they had ever dwelt on the surface?," asked Leonard.

"No," said Sheldon, "They obviously would have gone to painstaking lengths to hide themselves from us."

"And why would they want to do that?," asked Howard.

"I'm sure they would have studied our planet, just as we have studied theirs." said Sheldon. "Observing the warlike nature of mankind, they probably would want nothing to do with us."

"But, wouldn't they be warlike themselves?," asked Raj, "They are after all from a planet called Mars."

"Oh, no," responded Sheldon, "to survive for so long underground and undetected, they would have a highly advanced, vey enlightened civilization. Remember Mars was named for the Roman god of war by an earthling. There's no telling what they would call their planet themselves."

"Maybe Barsoom?," Leonard asked, smiling.

"Your reference to Edgar Rice Burroughs's Mars novels is not lost on me, Leonard," Sheldon said, "but I'm theorizing science, not science fiction.

"Well, if they're so much further advanced than us," said Howard, "they must have developed space travel by now."

"I'm sure of it," said Sheldon, "but as I've said, they would not want their existence revealed to us. Any visits to Earth would have been in secret."

"So, they could be among us now?," asked Raj, looking nervously around at the other people in the cafeteria.

"Exactly," nodded Sheldon, "observing us, studying us, while we're none the wiser. The way our own scientists might observe some other less evolved species."

Their table was near a trash receptacle, and a medium-built, gray haired man had just placed his empty tray on top of it. He turned, and as he walked past the friends' table, he paused. With a smile, he said, "Good Afternoon, gentlemen." The four scientists returned his greeting, and with a slight bow to them, he continued on his way. Watching him exit the room, Sheldon asked, "Who is that?,"

"Oh, that's Dr. O'Hara," Leonard answered. "I met him the other day. He just joined the Anthropology Department. He's nice."

Nodding, Sheldon said, "Well, I think I've sufficiently supported my postulation."

"I know I've heard more than enough," sighed Leonard. Howard and Raj nodded vigorously in agreement.

"Now, let's discuss my theory about intelligent life on Venus," said Sheldon. He was answered by a collective groan from his three friends.

Dr. O'Hara entered his office in the Anthropology Department and closed the door behind him. Seating himself behind his desk, he picked up some of the papers lying on top of it. After looking at them for little more than a minute, he lay them back on the desk. Leaning back in his chair, he thought, "I don't think I'll do any more work this afternoon. I'M pretty caught up on my paperwork, and I'd planned on leaving in a couple of hours anyway, to take Tim for an early dinner."

He smiled and shook his head. "Tim," he thought, "After fifty years, he still calls me Uncle Martin. But with his white hair and his cane, he looks more like my uncle, now."

Looking at his watch, he thought, "Well, it's still too early to pick up Tim, so I think I'll have a nap." Pointing his right index finger at his office door knob, he traced a small circle in the air, and the door's lock clicked. Putting his feet up on his desk, he leaned back and relaxed.

He thought, " Those four young fellows in the cafeteria seemed nice. Reading their minds as I walked by them, I found that they're all highly intelligent. Especially the one named Sheldon. He was thinking of a word I've never heard, though." Aloud, he repeated it. "Bazinga?,"

"Ah, well," he thought, closing his eyes. A pair of antennae rose from the top of his head, and he turned invisible.

The End


End file.
